


is it chill that you're in my head? (cause i know that it's delicate)

by illicitaffair



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don't @ Me, F/M, Intimacy, and that makes me !!!!, derek wants casey to be a part of his life, i wrote this at 3am so if its terrible, nothing really happens honestly its just v soft, well the beginning of it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illicitaffair/pseuds/illicitaffair
Summary: Within four months of moving into the Venturi household Casey learns that there are rules.They’re unspoken and go mostly unacknowledged, but they're there nonetheless. Casey almost laughs at the irony: for all their big talk about being rulebreakers, the Venturi’s are just as conformist as the McDonalds.alternatively: casey, derek and the beginnings of intimacy.
Relationships: Casey McDonald & Derek Venturi, Casey McDonald/Derek Venturi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 117





	is it chill that you're in my head? (cause i know that it's delicate)

**Author's Note:**

> i would love to say this isn’t based on a tiktok but,,,it is. i saw a tiktok last week about the intimacy and raw tension that comes with someone looking around your room for the first time and then i just couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
> 
> this fic is dedicated to everyone still shipping dasey in 2020! we're small but boy are we mighty. the talent you guys have is insane, thank you for always inspiring me with your fics/gifs/videos etc <3
> 
> title from delicate by taylor swift! 
> 
> (also i wrote this at 3am please excuse any mistakes! i might edit at some point in the near future. might not. we'll see how we go)

Within four months of moving into the Venturi household Casey learns that there are rules. 

They’re unspoken and go mostly unacknowledged, but they're there nonetheless. Casey almost laughs at the irony: for all their big talk about being _rulebreakers,_ the Venturi’s are just as conformist as the McDonalds. 

The rules are simple. Number one: hockey always comes first. Always. Two: if you don’t ask, then you don’t have to deal with the inevitable fallout. Rule number three is what Marti wants, Marti gets. 

And rule number four? Under no circumstances is anyone allowed to step into Derek Venturi’s room, _ever_. 

Despite Casey’s fondness for regulations, these ones exasperate her. They’re not based on any real reason or logic, nor have they been implemented to prevent chaos and promote an organised system. Instead, it’s quite the opposite. The rules were put in place to _avoid_ having to deal with issues in an orderly and mature way.

As much as it frustrates her, Casey learns to live with the first rule. Hockey isn’t her favourite sport, not by a long shot. But in the interest of pleasing her mother, she silently sits through Thursday night hockey and lets the Venturi’s have their fun. The second rule is a little bit harder to work around, but she’s getting there. Slowly, day by day, Casey works her way through the Venturi’s in an attempt to get the four of them actually _communicating_ . Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But at least she _tried_ , right? 

The third rule is the easiest to change, mostly because Casey has Nora on her side. Her mother's authority trumps Casey’s every time - on the rare occasions she decides to use it, that is. So when Marti kicks up her usual fuss and the Venturi’s ignore her outbursts - or worse, give in to them - Casey straightens her posture and uses her best babysitting voice. Between Casey, Nora and Lizzie, sometimes, the third rule of the Venturi residence slowly begins to crumble. 

But it’s the last rule that Casey can’t quite seem to reform. It’s been _months_ of living next door to Derek, and yet Casey has only seen glimpses of his room every other day. Honestly, it’s a little unnerving; for all she knows Derek could be housing his own meth lab in his room, right under their noses. 

Casey tells her mother as much one afternoon while they do laundry. “Don’t you think it’s weird?” she says as she folds a t-shirt, placing it on top of the pile. “That no one is allowed to even know what his room looks like? Not even Marti knows, and she’s the only one of us Derek trusts!” 

Nora looks at Casey with an odd look on her face. “Please tell me you didn’t grill Marti on what Derek’s room looked like?” 

There’s a beat of silence before Casey answers. “No?” 

“Now why did that sound like a question?” 

Casey sighs. “Of course I did, mom. It doesn’t make any sense - why should Derek be the only one with any privacy? The rest of us are all living on top of each other, but not him! All I’m asking is that Derek is put on the same playing field as all of us.”

‘I can’t change the rule, Casey,” Nora says, grabbing the washing basket off the table. “To do that you’ll need to take the issue up with George and Derek. But I can ask Lizzie to give you some more space if that’s what you wanted?” 

It isn’t, but Nora doesn’t know that, so Casey smiles up at her mother softly. “Thanks, mom.” 

Truthfully, Casey only wants to change the fourth rule out of pettiness. There is no _real_ reason why Derek should have to share his space, which technically is meant just for him anyway, but there is also no reason why he _shouldn’t_ either. And honestly? Casey is curious. She’s never seen the inside of Derek’s room and it bugs her. Despite their rocky beginnings, the McDonald-Venturi’s had begun the transition into a real, merged and relatively harmonious family. 

The London house is beginning to feel like home to Casey. After four long months of feeling like a stranger to the Venturi residence; of not knowing where certain groceries or the step ladder are kept, of having to memorise a new address, postcode and wifi password, Casey feels comfortable, safe and secure in her new surroundings. 

The house is familiar to her now. Casey knows the sounds of the kitchen and the family room, the squeaks and crashes of certain appliances and the shouts of different family members. She knows every inch of Lizzie’s room - her sister’s belongings overwhelm Casey with nostalgia and familiarity. Casey quickly becomes well acquainted with Marti’s room, which despite being a kaleidoscope of bright colours and unorganised chaos is a surprisingly fun place to spend time. And surprisingly, without Casey even noticing, she finds herself knowing Edwin’s room. She’s spent less time in the attic than in Marti and Lizzie’s rooms, for obvious reasons, but she still makes an effort to spend time with Edwin up there, just the two of them. 

Derek has never extended that same courtesy to her. Not that Casey expects him to, anyway. The two of them have yet to be in the vicinity of each other for more than five minutes and _not_ break into an argument. They’re not friends, nor do they have anything in common. So it makes sense that Derek wouldn’t try to bond with her as he did with Lizzie when he taught her how to play hockey. 

So, yes, it frustrates Casey to no end that after four months of being _right next_ to Derek’s room and not knowing a single detail about what’s inside. And it _infuriates_ her how she is never, ever under _any_ circumstances allowed to set foot into Derek’s room, but he has the right to enter her’s (without knocking!) anytime he wants. 

Something's _got_ to give. 

* * *

Casey is winning when _it_ happens.

" _Der-ek!_ " she shouts, flexing out her left leg from her place on the ground. She grasps her nerf gun tightly in her right hand and looks behind her. 

They're all involved in a high stakes game of _Fireball_ , a Venturi invention that is a mix of laser tag, traditional hide and seek and dodgeball. It is, quite frankly, Casey's idea of hell. But she is nothing if not competitive so when Lizzie pleaded with her to join the game, Casey couldn't resist. 

And to her surprise, Casey is good at _Fireball_. She has already taken out Nora and George, who is currently watching a movie in the basement with Marti (who had been busted by Derek two minutes into the game). 

She had been winning right up until Derek had _cheated_.

"Ah, Princess!" Derek greets her cheerily as he makes her way up the stairs, stopping to stand in front of Casey sprawled on the floor. 

Casey swivels around and raises her nerf gun up. "That was a cheap shot Derek," she says. "Not to mention you _cheated_."

He smirks as he blows imaginary smoke from his bright blue plastic gun. "That's the great thing about _Fireball_ ," Derek replies. "There is no such thing as cheating."

Casey curls her index finger around her gun and fires. The dart hits Derek square in the chest. He barely flinches. "That's bull, Derek. You're only supposed to take people out with the guns and the tennis balls and not use any _external sources_." Casey glares at the banana skin lying mere centimetres away from her and ignores the self-satisfied sound that comes from Derek"s direction. 

"Ah, but you know what Spacey? That's not a rule. And I would know, seeing as how I'm _co-creator_ of this magnificent game."

Casey's glare is menacing. "I hate you."

"Right back atcha Princess."

The words had barely left Derek's lips before an idea forms in Casey's mind. "Hey Lizzie," she yells, praying that _please, god, let me be right_. 

"Yeah?" comes the reply. It's distant, coming from the kitchen or the laundry, so Casey increases her volume.

"Team up with Edwin and gang up on Derek! You can corner him, he's upstairs!"

Casey smiles sweetly at Derek, who in turn has begun to look around frantically.

" _Seriously?_ " he hisses. She can hear footsteps rushing towards them, as well as the hushed tones of Lizzie and Edwin. 

"Checkmate," Casey says, stepping forward so her and Derek are toe to toe. She accentuates her statement by placing the barrel of her nerf gun on his chest, her eyes never once leaving his.

"No way am I losing at _Fireball._ Not today. Not ever," Derek responds, grabbing Casey by the wrist. It happens so quickly that she barely has any time to react: one minute she's standing there, holding the metaphorical upper hand, and the next Derek's hands are on her - one grasping her arm and the other on her shoulder - and she's being pushed forward. 

"Hey!" Casey starts, before the hand that is holding her wrist moves to cover her mouth. She barely registers a door being shut before Lizzie and Edwin finally make their way upstairs. 

"Casey definitely said that Derek was up here?" Edwin asks, his voice unsure. Casey rolls her eyes.

"Yes," Lizzie responds. "And she wouldn't have said that if it wasn't true."

_Thank god for Lizzie_ , Casey thinks as she leans towards the door to hear better. It's a slightly awkward position, as Derek still has his hand over her mouth, so she licks his palm. It's childish, sure, but it does the job. Derek jerks backwards instantly, glaring at her.

"I hate you," he mouths, moving forward to jab Casey in the stomach. She smirks back at him in response.

"You don't know Derek like I do," Edwin says in a grave tone. "He would do anything to win _Fireball_ , even if it meant teaming up with Casey."

Now it's Derek's turn to roll his eyes. Casey looks up and him and raises an eyebrow. "Really?" she mouths. 

He shakes his head slightly, leaning forwards to slouch on the door. He's still facing her, leaving an inch or two between them, and Casey registers just how close the two of them are. It wouldn't take much for her to reach out and grab his hand, or his shoulder.

To you know, give him up to Lizzie and Edwin. Same as he did to her.

"Let's check outside," Edwin says after a moment. Lizzie agrees and the two make their way down the stairs, the sound of their footsteps fading away with every passing second.

Derek lets out a breath and Casey steps back away from him.

"You're an ass!" she begins. "First you deliberately make me lose a game I was on track to win, second -" she turns around and her voice is immediately stuck in her throat. 

She's in Derek's _room_.

Casey isn’t sure what she expected, honestly, but the reality is a little jarring. She takes a few steps forward and turns to look at Derek. 

“No meth lab then.” 

He lets out a small scoff. “No meth lab.” 

Casey hums softly and makes her way towards the large stack of vinyls that are sitting next to a record player. She’s conscious of the fact that it’s a little bit weird, poking around Derek’s room while he’s _right there_ , but he hasn’t kicked her out yet so Casey counts that as some sort of twisted permission. 

“Hey,” she says as she’s flicking through the vinyls. “I love this album!” 

Derek rolls his eyes. “All chicks love Fleetwood Mac Casey. It’s practically a requirement.” 

A glare is sent his way. “ _Der-ek!_ Please tell me you don’t have _Rumours_ on vinyl just to pick up girls?” 

Derek merely shrugs and makes his way over to his bed, leaning against the headboard. Casey runs her fingers over the record sleeve and looks anywhere but in his direction. 

This whole situation is just so _weird_. 

Not knowing what to do, Casey casts her eyes around Derek’s room. His walls are painted a muted grey colour that should make the space feel small but his belongings are an explosion of colour that balance it out. There are several sexist posters aligning his walls - which Casey makes a mental note to yell at Derek for later - along with copious memorabilia for bands that she has never heard of before. A Star Wars calendar from the year before is hanging up near his window, with haphazardly placed stacks of comics placed directly under it. 

Casey almost laughs when she sees a small stuffed teddy bear nestled among random pieces of old hockey gear in the furthest corner of the room, but stops herself at the last second. “Your room is neater than I thought,” she says instead. 

“You always think the worst of me, Spacey.” 

She rolls her eyes and looks at him, briefly, before moving to look at his corkboard above his desk. 

He’s looking at her, staring really, and it’s unnerving as hell. 

Casey shakes her head slightly and focuses on the board. It’s surprisingly quiet, rare for the two of them and the air feels thick between them, although Casey can’t for the life of her figure out _why_. 

When Casey sees the pictures that Derek has pinned to the cork she lets out a small laugh “This looks like it was a fun birthday,” she teases. 

The photos in question show a younger Derek sporting a birthday crown and a disgruntled expression while a miniature version of Edwin holds a cake shaped like a hockey arena. There are four photos, each taken in quick succession as they depict the untimely death of Derek’s tenth birthday cake. 

Derek snorts and Casey rolls her eyes at his disdainful decorum. “You could say that. Though, the _real_ fun began once Marti came along.” 

Casey smiles at that, a proper grin that lights up her face. “I can only imagine.” 

She moves on, making her way over to the left of Derek’s window where his shelf sits. 

It’s strange, Casey notes, that Derek hasn’t kicked her out yet. She’s essentially snooping through his stuff, his _life_. 

And he’s just sitting there _letting her_. 

Noticing a plastic purple coloured dinosaur sitting among several hockey trophies Casey bends down to pick it up, making it walk along the top shelf. It’s a small action, one that Casey would have no qualms doing in anyone else’s room, sibling or otherwise.

But the rules are always different with Derek. 

“This little guy have a name?” she asks Derek, turning around to face him. 

A faint blush comes across his cheeks and Casey tries not to find it enduring. 

(She fails.)

“ _Her_ name is Taylor,” Derek admits and Casey lets out a giggle. 

She continues to make her way around his room, still clutching Taylor in her left hand. Casey knows she should stop prying, stop invading Derek’s space and leave. Quite frankly it’s excruciatingly awkward poking through his stuff while Derek just _sits_ there, watching her every move. 

It’s...intimate. 

_Well, you did want to bond with him_ , Casey thinks, slightly hysterical. She’s overcome with emotions that she can’t identify, which is something that Casey _really_ doesn’t want to try and dissect any time soon. On one hand, she’s uncomfortable being scrutinised by Derek. His gaze unsettles her, always has, and Casey can _feel_ his eyes on her as she makes her way around his room. 

But on the other, she feels _closer_ to Derek somehow. It’s almost as if he has offered up this piece of himself to her as an olive branch, as a way to say _hey, we’re even now_. 

Eventually, Casey finishes snooping through Derek’s stuff and circles back to stand in front of his door. He watches her do it, his face blank of any emotion. 

“Is it what you expected?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. 

“It fits the mold for a typical messy egotistical teenage boy, so yeah, actually.” 

Derek rolls his eyes and rubs his hands together. Silence fills the space between them and Casey is at a loss for things to say, a first for her. 

What _is_ there to say? 

Derek’s eyes flick up to the ceiling and finally, it clicks for Casey. He’s _nervous_ , probably has been the entire time she had been snooping through his stuff. 

_But why?_

“You should listen to _Tango in the Night_ ,” she eventually blurts out, unsure of what else to say. “It’s their best album.” 

It’s stilted and stiff and so unbelievably _awkward_ but Derek huffs out a small laugh anyway. 

“Sure, whatever you say, Case.” 

Casey takes a deep breath and puts her hand on the doorknob. “Thanks Derek,” she says softly. She doesn’t specify exactly _what_ she’s thanking him for but he nods anyway. 

“Anytime,” Derek responds, making eye contact with her. Casey inhales sharply and hastily steps through the doorway, careful to shut the door softly. Leaning against the doorframe, facing Lizzie’s room, Casey shuts her eyes. 

_What the hell was that?_

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](https://eyescllsed.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/aqamparrish)
> 
> hope you enjoyed and that you're staying safe!!


End file.
